That morning, I was thriving.
I had just achieved a headstand in yoga. Not the elegant, float-like-a-feather version but more like a “hold it, hold it, don’t collapse now” situation even though the husband was supporting my attempt. For a few glorious seconds, I was upside down and deeply convinced that I had unlocked a new level of life. All thanks to my exuberant yoga guru who did mention that I could achieve it today. So naturally, my brain went: This is it. Today, we conquer the world.
Cut to an hour later when I was ready to take the world as I sat at my work desk, my iPhone decided it had other plans.And not in a subtle way. Oh no! This was a full-blown, dramatic shutdown. Screen frozen. Touch not working. Buttons unresponsive. Basically, my phone had emotionally checked out before I could. What the hell happened? And just like that, my “I can handle anything” energy turned into What if I can’t even take a call today?
Oh yes! Also because life has a weird sense of humour. Add to this, I had a call in 45 minutes. A call I had chased, taken effort to schedule and it was THE call I absolutely needed to show up for like a fully functional adult. Phew!
Let me add a few small details here. I work from home. I don’t have another phone. Wohoo! This was spiralling beautifully.
The Panic Phase (A Masterclass in Inefficiency)
And of course I did everything that did not work. Panic pressed buttons harder, as if the phone would respond to authority(still do not know if I have one! I realised we are mere slaves to technology! What authority was I thinking of!) I stared at it intensely hoping that eye contact would fix the issue. I repeated the same action multiple times because clearly, persistence without strategy is the key.
Then came my most brilliant move. I could reward myself for this!
I emailed my husband and my mother asking them to call me and check if my phone was reachable. Let that sink in.
I sent an email… asking for a phone call… to check my phone.
In my defence, panic had taken over logic. Completely.
Also in reality neither of them responded. Why? I should have known better. And this is most important: Who checks email instantly anymore?
So there I was. With a non-functional phone. An upcoming important call.
And a growing sense that I had been abandoned by both technology and family.
The Moment of Truth (Masterclass in reality check!)
At some point between full blown frustration and borderline panic, I decided to breathe. Take a moment and see, what options did I have? I could email and call off the meeting (bad unprofessional move!) or think of other ways to have the call? (FaceTime from my Mac?)
That one slow breath made a change. I told myself, “If panic could fix this, it would have by now.”
Instead of focusing on what I didn’t have (a working phone, immediate help, divine intervention), I looked at what I did have:
- My Mac
- Internet
- And yes… ChatGPT
I followed instructions. Carefully. Step by step. Volume up, volume down, press and hold, don’t panic if the screen goes blank (too late, but okay).
And within 25 minutes…
My phone was back.
It was alive, responsive and believe me it gave me a smug smile. Yes! I saw it, when it was powering up confidently letting me know who was the boss here (I did say I have a thing about inanimate objects making conversations right?).
Lessons From This Little Meltdown
Much after and in the evening, as I sat to read having shut down from my usual work routine. I thought of how funny it is that something as small as a phone glitch can hold up a mirror and tell you who you become when faced with adversity. ( I will call it that, anyone would agree that it was an adversity)
Here’s what I took away:
- Panic does not help
I am sure we have heard this enough number of times and no matter how many times we face difficulties, we still have a long way to go in managing our first response of panic. In fact panic just gives you the illusion that you are doing something. You are clearly not. You are just emotionally multitasking without results. - Resourcefulness is underrated
I did not have a backup phone. But I had enough to find a solution. We always do have access to resources that can come in handy and most of the time it is not that we are stuck. Perhaps it is just that we are not looking properly. - AI can feel like calm in chaos
Ok! That statement is going to attract a lot of debate but hold it there! AI was created to give us a near human experience and it was something I reached out to albeit very consciously about what the prompt should be. At that moment, being guided step-by-step was grounding apart from being helpful. It felt like someone saying, “You are not stuck. Try this.” - Resilience is built in inconvenient moments
One need not go through some drastic or even life changing events to see or gain the skill of resilience. Sometimes, the learning happens in small moments, daily interactions. Mostly not always in big achievements or in perfect routines. - Self awareness is achieved with conscious work
Self awareness is key and this is perhaps the most valid skill that one needs to hold and have. How aware are we to manage ourselves, our emotions to be able to manage what is going on around us. It sounds simple, but it is a lifelong work in progress. Do read that again!
The Irony I Cannot Ignore
The day began with me upside down in a headstand, feeling like I could take on the world. And then, my world dropped… because my phone crashed.
It is funny. It is slightly embarrassing and it is entirely human.
I realised we do not have to go through trauma or the big things that shake us. It is the small disruptions that expose how quickly we lose our sense of control. The question remains then, how quickly do we gather ourselves and move on. And that is what left me writing this blog. I figured it out. And maybe that is what matters more than the physicality of the headstand. What mattered was what happened when I was not in one. I did everything in my physical capacity to hold myself up and that is what translated to the mini crisis i went through.
Also, for the record, I made that call. While being fully functional, slightly humbled and much wiser.